threes

my three year old son hates me.

okay, maybe a slight over exaggeration but today he told me: "i don't want to love you, mommy."  :(
and now i need to go find a cave and bury myself under a rock so i can cry my eyes out.  i couldn't help but question my parenting skills - where did i go wrong?  am i too hard on him?  am i not paying enough attention to him?   am i not affectionate enough? maybe i should have let him have that extra cookie? 

Sigh...

i don't know what's gotten into jaden lately but he's been angry and aggressive which is VERY uncharacteristic of my tea party loving/gentle/would rather read a book quietly than run around outside/passive momma's boy.  he's been kicking, hitting, and throwing things and saying unkind statements like "i don't want to play with you,"  "i don't want to kiss you," and "sshhh...don't talk mommy. be quiet!"  he does the opposite of everything i say and every ten minutes i find myself in a catch 22 argument with a three year old. 

threes are turning out to be pretty difficult.  i miss the terrible twos. 


oh jaden, i hope you know that you are loved.  i hope that one day you know how hard i'm trying to raise you into a confident, kind, and loving person.  i hope one day you understand that i punish you for your own good and not because i'm a mean bad mommy.